we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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