I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
