so that wasnt chicken after all
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
