so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
