better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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