the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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