I am spending my child support on dildos
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
