We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
