I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Randomize
