white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
