This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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