2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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