i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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