remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
