Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
