I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
