Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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