you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
