You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
