If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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