My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
