I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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