You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
