I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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