I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
