Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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