you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
