I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
