I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
