I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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