we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
