so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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