when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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