hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
