what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
