If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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