My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
