Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
