so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
