You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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