Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
