I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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