"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
