Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
