just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
