What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
