I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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