I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
