My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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