I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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