Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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