imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
