Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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