I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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