can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
