Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
