Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
