i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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