i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
