Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
