Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You're breaking my sexual little heart
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
