Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize