Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
