I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
