so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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