I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize