then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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