So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
