Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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