Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wish you could order shots online.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
