He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you never un-have a 4some
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
