My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize