were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
