whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
