At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
