I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
