I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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