kristin has been a bad kristin
i just google imaged poop.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
