I only kidnapped one of them. chill
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Sorry about my life...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
