On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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