wrigley field is MILF paradise
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
