she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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