he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
