hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
